Why Can't You Think?

Letter To Younger Me

Dear Younger Me,

I know I had big dreams.  I imagined life playing out much differently than it did.  In my mind I had my ideal job surrounded by all the  things that came with success.  I envisioned all of my fabulous ideas coming to fruition, but they didn’t.  Life did not follow the path that I thought it would.

Projects came and went, dust settled over them, dulling the sparkle they once held.  I became sad and disillusioned.  I looked around and wondered why others had success and I did not.  I doubted myself and my ability.  I stopped enjoying life.

Life went on, because that is what life does.  I wrapped myself into my daily routine and kept going, resigning myself to accept what was before me.  And then one day, it happened – a stirring, a shifting of the universe.  The cards I had been dealt were rearranging themselves into new formation.  I looked up and around, I had been caught off guard.

What was happening?  Could this be?  When I had quietly been becoming older and wiser, a new dream arrived.  With new-found patience I exhaled a long breath and wondered at it.  I hugged it.  I admired it – it was all mine.  It might not have looked like the first dream I had, but it was better, it was a perfect fit for where I was now.

And so Younger Me, I bid you farewell.  I wish I could take away the struggle and frustration that you feel in the present moment.  I feel bad for you that so many days have been lost, consumed and distracted by the “what-ifs” – while real and tangible experiences presented themselves everyday.

The only thing I ask is that today, take one single moment and immerse yourself in it.  Leave judgments, to-do lists, relationships behind.  Give yourself that.

All my best, Cavvy Ott


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