Dear Younger Me,
I know I had big dreams. I imagined life playing out much differently than it did. In my mind I had my ideal job surrounded by all the things that came with success. I envisioned all of my fabulous ideas coming to fruition, but they didn’t. Life did not follow the path that I thought it would.
Projects came and went, dust settled over them, dulling the sparkle they once held. I became sad and disillusioned. I looked around and wondered why others had success and I did not. I doubted myself and my ability. I stopped enjoying life.
Life went on, because that is what life does. I wrapped myself into my daily routine and kept going, resigning myself to accept what was before me. And then one day, it happened – a stirring, a shifting of the universe. The cards I had been dealt were rearranging themselves into new formation. I looked up and around, I had been caught off guard.
What was happening? Could this be? When I had quietly been becoming older and wiser, a new dream arrived. With new-found patience I exhaled a long breath and wondered at it. I hugged it. I admired it – it was all mine. It might not have looked like the first dream I had, but it was better, it was a perfect fit for where I was now.
And so Younger Me, I bid you farewell. I wish I could take away the struggle and frustration that you feel in the present moment. I feel bad for you that so many days have been lost, consumed and distracted by the “what-ifs” – while real and tangible experiences presented themselves everyday.
The only thing I ask is that today, take one single moment and immerse yourself in it. Leave judgments, to-do lists, relationships behind. Give yourself that.
All my best, Cavvy Ott
I remember when my young daughter was in preschool and not hitting an important milestone. I was very frustrated when discussing the matter with the preschool teacher. This wise, wonderful woman with years of experience shared with me the words that I will never forget: “it’s not her time.”
Those are the words that I have to tell myself. I think of all of my past ideas that have failed to get off the ground. It has been a yoke to carry, knowing I have skills and talents that seem as if they have no place to go. It certainly hasn’t been for lack of trying. How many of you have had this same thought process, if you try hard enough it will just (should) happen? Despite our best efforts, we fall short. And yet we try. It must be the youth and inexperience in us that keeps us trudging along.
I know it’s annoying to see someone else have success (come on, we’re all thinking it!). I have turned over in my head many times how can one person, especially a young person, hit the jackpot, and the next person, who has toiled for years, have no results? Argh! It’s these times that reincarnation seems to be the only explanation. Life is not fair, but hey, maybe in the next one it evens out.
So we accept what might not be… and then one day it happens. We stop forcing it. That is probably the magical point where we become wise like that preschool teacher. Things start to take off – the right ideas flow and we willingly discard the old with no regrets. Somewhere I had read a quote that if a dream doesn’t work out, it’s OK, a new dream will take its place. I think that is part of success, not having such tunnel vision that you can expand and change direction, and thus rewrite your story.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, your time will come. And if it doesn’t, I can almost guarantee you that something better will take its place!